Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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