question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
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