so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
