Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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