I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
