I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
