You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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