I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
