Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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