You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
