I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I am one with the molecules
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
