Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
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sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
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So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
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