At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Randomize
