listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
