i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
People in love make me want to vomit
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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