Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
