when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
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