he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
