operation harelip BJ is a go
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
