She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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