So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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