just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
