farters have to be the big spoon...
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
