So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize