Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
