I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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