just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize