i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Randomize
