she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Randomize
