Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
