Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Randomize
