I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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