It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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