tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
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He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
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I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
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