my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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