it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Randomize
