the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
