i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
