i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
i used baking grease as lip gloss
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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