the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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