OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize