I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Randomize
