I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
what day is it and did you see me today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Randomize