It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
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