I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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