just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
