My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
