I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize