I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
i just had sex bonerless
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
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