Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Randomize
