Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
