he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
