How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
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