I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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