is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
