Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
