What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
