I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
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