Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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