Joe is yelling at the trees again.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Randomize
