her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
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