I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
