I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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