I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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